


Forget Me Not

by godlyflowerlady



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 20:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15804207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlyflowerlady/pseuds/godlyflowerlady
Summary: He gives him a smile and for a moment Merlin's world stops spinning. Everything focuses on him and he can't hear the voices around them anymore. Everything freezes.Yes, maybe he likes Arthur more than he should. Maybe.





	Forget Me Not

He gives him a smile and for a moment Merlin's world stops spinning. Everything focuses on him and he can't hear the voices around them anymore. Everything freezes.

Yes, maybe he likes Arthur more than he should. Maybe.

The world starts spinning again just a second after and someone bumps into Merlin. He struggles not to drop the wine he's holding, while the man, who just ran into him swears behind him and Merlin almost steps on the foot of the knight he's standing next to. "Sorry! Sorry!" He says quickly and holds the wine closer, scared to drop it. The old, bearded knight only gives him a pissed off look.

Again, the young sorcerer looks across the table of the dining hall to the blond prince, but now Arthur isn't looking at him anymore. He's looking at Gwaine, laughing with him. 

Merlin releases a sigh, which is inaudible between the laughter, shouting and talking of the feast. 

Yes, maybe he likes Arthur more than he should. Maybe he likes the way how his eyes sparkle when he fights, how he looks like he's pouting when he's angry or how his whole face brightens up when he laughs.

It is a silly idea to fall in love with the prince, the future king, for a simple peasant boy, who can't even do his job as said prince's manservant right.

But Merlin isn't in love with Arthur. At least that's what he tells himself over and over, when he catches himself looking at him for a little too long or feeling the butterflies in his stomach when Arthur puts a hand on his shoulder. Because how could he ever be foolish enough to fall in love with someone so out of reach?

He pours the men he's standing by full goblets again, not looking up from the table. Some of the noblemen would probably assume it an insult if he looked at them. 

"Merlin?" His head shoots up and he looks across the table at the prince, who's laughing with the knights at his sides. Unlike most people, they don't look patronizing at Merlin; They accept him, not just as Arthur's servant, but as a friend. 

Merlin walks over to the prince and his knights. "Yes, sire?" He almost bursts into a grin at calling Arthur 'sire'. Though, Arthur looks pleased up at Merlin. "Would you pour my friends here some wine or are you going to walk over there again and stare at Lady Martha again?" The prince asks with a smirk on the lips. 

Merlin's cheeks are tinted light pink. Arthur hasn't realized who he was staring at, but he thinks he was staring at the princess who's their guest tonight. He looks over at her for a second and he must admit; She's beautiful. Her blonde hair flows into a long French Braid and her brown eyes seem to sparkle in the light of the candles. Her skin is light, but healthy, and she's laughing with a knight of her kingdom. 

But she is not what he wants, Merlin thinks as he turns his head back to Arthur. He poures them full goblets. "I really wasn't staring at her, royal prat." He calmly said, while looking at the wine. 

"What did you just call me?" Arthur leans over the side of his chair and glares at Merlin, who grins at that. "Royal prat."

The knights laugh and Leon nudges Merlin with a grin. "So you're atempting to teach our prince manners again, huh, Merlin?" "Nobody could teach that clotpole manners."

Arthur's facial expression is something between pouting and glaring. "I will behead you for this." "You've said that too many times now." Gwaine says with a grin and pats Arthur's shoulder. "You need to think of something new."

 

...

 

Later that night, Merlin helps Arthur to bed. Gwaine helpes him bringing Arthur to his chambers, but from there on Merlin has to work on his own. Gwaine isn't sober anymore either, but still manages to help Arthur, who is somewhat drunk. 

Maybe the prince had one or two drinks too many, Merlin thinks as he lifts Arthur's foot to take off his boot and Arthur drops back onto the bed. 

"Y'know, Merlin, you're a great servant." Arthur slurs, staring at the crimson ceiling of his bed. "Yeah, sure, clotpole." Merlin says and grins. He's definitely going to tell Arthur about this tomorrow morning.

"No, no, you're the worst servant." Arthur sits up unsteadily and Merlin rolls his eyes at him as he helps him out of his clothes. "But you're a great friend. You're my friend." 

Merlin's stomach twists and feels funny at Arthur's drunken smile. He's just sitting there, smiling up at his servant with those big, light blue eyes. His cheeks and nose are tinted rosy, because of the alcohol and his golden hair is ruffled up, probably because Leon started playing with it after a few drinks. 

He doesn't know what he's supposed to do when Arthur wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug. The prince is shirtless by then and Merlin feels himself blushing at the realization.  

"C'mon, Arthur, let's get you to bed." Merlin awkwardly pats his shoulder and Arthur grumbles as he lets go. He scoots back to lay down and Merlin lays the blanket over him. "You're a great friend." He says with a yawn and hugs his pillow, before he closes his eyes. 

"You're a great friend too." Merlin mutters with a soft smile, but Arthur is already fast asleep by then. 

He sighs and doesn't even want to think about how he's going to deal with everyone's hangover at training tomorrow. Instead, he pulls the blanket a little tighter around Arthur.

For several minutes Merlin just sits on the edge of the bed and watches Arthur's chest rise and sink down steadily. 

He knows he shouldn't, but he does though. Just like he knows he shouldn't like Arthur as much as he does, shouldn't want to spend as much time with him as he does, shouldn't want to kiss him as much as he does. 

But what is he supposed to do? Merlin is only a man. His magic doesn't change that. Sometimes he wishes it did. Sometimes he wishes it would take away his feelings. 

He's sure he isn't the only man, who feels like this about Arthur. Arthur is an attractive guy and Merlin is absoloutely certain it isn't only girls and him who can see that. Maybe everyone is attracted to Arthur and everyone has to deal with this feelings for him, even though he must admit that's not likely...

 

...

In the morning Merlin can't regret the previous night more. He should've taken Arthur, and probably all the knights too, to bed early, so they'd be able to train normally today.

But Merlin is a fool. A fool who didn't keep the prince and his knights from drinking.

"Faster, Merlin!" Arthur yells across the field as he continues to throw daggers at him. Merlin has been out of breath since he started running, but he's afraid that if he stops, Arthur might actually hit him and not the target tied to his back.

So Merlin tries to run faster, as if he's not already running as fast as he can. His legs hurt and he feels like he's about to fall over, but Arthur's look is so furious and serious.

"Clotpole!" He shouts, panting.

And then Arthur throws the last dagger in front of Merlin's feet. The servant trips and falls face first into the grass.

The knights look at him and everyone bursts into loud laughter. Leon slaps Arthur's shoulder as he passes by and gives him a laugh, but Arthur still looks as serious as before.

Merlin groans and tries to get up shakily. He doesn't have to try anymore when Arthur grabs his arm, pulls him up and takes the target off his back.

"Was that really necassary?" The young warlock sighs and rubs the spot on his arm at which Arthur had grabbed him so roughly.

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin. You should've seen it coming." Arthur turns around and goes to grab a shield and sword. "Oh really, I should've seen it? Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't see anything. I was running." Merlin gets louder as he speaks and huffs at the end, partly from exhaustion, partly because the prince is annoying him.

"I didn't know you needed your eyes to run. You were just dumb enough to trip over something that was obviously there." Arthur tosses Merlin a shield, but his servant doesn't catch it. Instead he steps back to let it fall in front of his feet.

Slowly, the knights get more quiet around them. "You can't do what I tell you for once, can you?" Arthur groans and tugs at his blond hair. "Just pick up the shield, it's not that hard, is it?" "If I do it for a prat like you, it is."

"You can't talk to-" "Oh, I can't talk to you like that! Why? Because you're the prince? Well, you can't talk to me like that either!" Merlin yells now and so does Arthur. "You're just a servant, of course I can!" The prince looks even angrier than before. Everyone around them is silent now, watching as the two scream at each other.

"Oh really?! Because I thought, I was your friend!" Merlin clenches his fists at his sides and Arthur steps forward. He is stopped by Sir Leon. "I think that's enough." He says in a calm, but firm tone and lays a hand on Arthur's shoulder, which the prince quickly brushes off.

Gwaine walks up to Merlin and lays an arm around him as he guides him inside the castle, away from the others. Away from Arthur, who's slowly getting what he said now.

When Merlin can't see Arthur anymore, the prince looks after him with concern and regret written onto his face.

 

...

 

Merlin and Gwaine walk through the corridors on their way to find a quiet place. They end up silently agreeing of not going to Merlin's rooms, because Gaius might be there, and not to Gwaine's either, because they could be interrupted there.

They stay silent as they climb up the stairs to one of the towers. Neither of them has said anything since Gwaine took his friend away from training.

Merlin's thoughts are spinning around what feels like a million different things and he can't decide on what he wants to try to solve fist. But then again, does it really matter?

Gwaine sits down on the floor when they arrive at the top of the stairs, leaning back against the wall. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment and Merlin can't help but notice how handsome the knight looks, even though he's just his friend.

His dark hair is falling just a little over his face, his head is tilted back, exposing his neck and his very present adam's apple to the sunbeams that hit him directly through one of the windows on the opposite wall.

"So, what's it with you and the princess?" The knight opens an eye to look down at Merlin, who's now sitting next to him.

Merlin shrugs. "It's not important." "Yeah, I saw that when you looked like you were going to kill each other." Gwaine chuckles and Merlin doesn't say anything.

"You know, he's pretty arrogant and I'm not the one who'd ever protect him from you, but he'd never mean that." Gwaine puts a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You know you're not just a servant."

"Of course I know." Merlin encounters and gives Gwaine a false grin. Gwaine grins back at Merlin. "But don't get as full of yourself as princess Arthur!"

Merlin doesn't want to admit it, but Arthur's words hurt him. He has trouble seeing himself as more than a servant and accepting that he's not a monster for having magic. After all he could hurt or even kill people with it! And yes, maybe he is a little afraid of himself because of that.

He doesn't even want to think about how many people he could kill if he just tried.

"Nobody could ever be like that clotpole." Merlin manages to say, before he laughs and Gwaine joins right in.

Yes, nobody could ever be like that clotpole. That clotpole, who makes Merlin's chest feel a little tighter, breathing a little harder, stomach flutter and nerves a little easier to wreck, whenever he's around. The prince, who doesn't even know exactly how many people are effected by his attractiveness, even though he's incredibly arrogant.

 

...


End file.
